6 key questions and answers for age-divided sex education

 

What should a child do if he or she likes to play with his genitals? When your child asks you what sex is, how do you answer? What should I do if I find that a teenager is watching A-movies and having condoms in his school bag? In the face of a variety of questions about sexuality thrown out by children of different ages, experts provide parent-appropriate answers.

0-6 Years Old Preschool

The sexual curiosity of young children is mainly to explore and curiosity about themselves and other people's body organs, to maintain a relaxed heart, to give appropriate answers with the knowledge of the child, and to plant the important concept of "respect for oneself and respect for the body of others".

Q: Is it normal for a child to play with his genitals, or to touch his mother's breasts when drinking milk? How old should this be and it should be stopped?

A: Children are curious about the body, and play with their reproductive organs in the exploration, is a natural body exploration, development process, parents can support children in life to have full exploration, but to help children learn "privacy" and "body boundaries", and touch attention to "clean" to avoid bacterial infections.

Can also say to the child: "the reproductive organs are a private part, touch the reproductive organs, in their own space, their own time to do, remember to keep clean." If you touch your genitals unconsciously and carelessly elsewhere, I'll remind you to go back to your own space and do it again. Helping children have the concept of privacy, parents can help their children practice this ability at a time when they are not competent enough to judge the situation.

If the mother's breasts when drinking milk, the mother did not feel uncomfortable, do not need special treatment, can use the child weaning time, let this behavior stop naturally, but if the child thought will touch the mother's breasts, you feel uncomfortable, you can gently and firmly set limits. Like, "I don't like you touching my breasts, when I say I don't like it, you have to stop." You can hold me or touch my hand. When a child is limited by her mother to touch his breasts, there will be emotions, and the mother can provide her own acceptable way to deal with the child's emotions, and also help the child learn to respect your feelings. Parents can also take the opportunity to teach their children physical boundaries: "When I touch your body, you feel uncomfortable, and tell me, I'll stop."

Q: Small class daughter in school there is a big class brother will hold her, kiss her, Mr. teach daughter to refuse the boy's hug, this will overreact?

A: We think about this question in three parts, and we know better if it's overreacting.

First understand how your daughter feels. What was she feeling right now when she was hugged and kissed by her brother? If the daughter said, "Nothing is going on!" He just kissed, hugged and we started playing games. The kiss-and-hug action has not been sustained, the child can naturally return to the game state, do not have special treatment, as long as maintain smooth parent-child communication, because the child will tell you when the child needs, you can accompany her to face difficulties, is the most important.

But if my daughter said, "I like to play with him, I don't like to kiss and hug every time, I said to my brother that I don't want to do this, but he just doesn't listen." At this point, the daughter felt uncomfortable, but also expressed rejection, and the other side did not stop behavior, asked the daughter to go to the teacher to help.

Second, parents can discuss with the teacher, ask the teacher to observe the interaction between children, if your daughter has expressed "do not like hugging", the big class brother stop moving, this is very good. If you still can't stop moving, your brother needs to learn the line of interpersonal skills: "When you hear people say you don't like it, you have to stop." The teacher needs to help his brother learn appropriate emotional expressions.

To understand the husband's mood and thoughts, if the father is worried about his daughter's emotional discomfort, but the daughter can not express, we should teach the child "rejection" method. For example, "I don't like you kissing me, hugging me, please stop." "I don't like your behavior, please stop." And "When you hear people say you don't like it, you have to stop." It is the interpersonal boundary ability that children practice in their daily life, and it is also a concrete display of respect for their feelings with others.

Preschool children talk about sex notes

❶ Parents are relaxed about talking to their children about sex.

❷ sex education is relationship education, love, security" parent-child relationship, smooth parent-child communication, children can ask questions when they have questions, support him grow up with a variety of sexual curiosity.

❸ can learn from children's daily life behavior, natural sex education, teach children the concept of "privacy" and "respect".

Primary School Age 7-12

In the internet age, erotic content can not be blocked and blocked, then open your heart to talk about it! Be a "ready" parent, practice listening, learning to explain the right sexual knowledge, let the child know that sexual exploration journey, parents are learning to grow together.

Q: The junior son saw the toilet trash can has used tampons, shouting so disgusting! How do I explain female physiological supplies to boys?

A: Encounter the whole picture of using tampons spread out in the trash, if the child is uncomfortable to witness, first ignore his emotions, and use this for sex education.

Parents can directly state: "What you just saw is called tampons, which are girls who come through menstruation, stick to their underwear, and store blood-soaked physiological supplies to avoid flowing into their pants when they come through the blood."

Parents talk about sex for children in the third year, as if in accepting a new knowledge, parents can also take the initiative to help children expand some new knowledge, such as: what is the tampon ingredients? Why do you suck water? You can even turn it into an experimental class, and actually add water to see.

 

Q: The little four asked me what "sex" was, and to what extent should I explain it?

A: Where is the parent-child sexual readiness to ask first? Including talking to kids about sex before? Have you ever been involved in a child's sexual development? Have you established a good family talking space? Because the state of parenthood and sex determines how to answer questions.

Parents who have not spoken to their children about sex are very anxious when asked this question. And the child suddenly asked this question, may not be the answer, more often want to know whether parents can afford the child's question.

If you are a parent who is prepared to talk about sex, then the child asks again and says, "Sex is another way of saying sex." Basically we've talked about what's sexual, it's the same.

Primary school parent-child talk sex notes

❶ When a child experiences being able to talk to his parents about sex, the child will know that you are ready to talk to him about sex.

❷ answer your child's sexual questions honestly in the right words, and avoid obscure words or colloquialisms.

❸ In the face of children's questions, parents first settle their emotions, relaxed attitude, in order to talk with their children at ease.

❹ there is a lot of sex education, parents should think clearly about what to teach their children.

❺ become a learning family, find information, read, discuss with your child, and get clear and correct information about your child's involvement. 13-15 Years of Adolescence

Believe that children have the ability to be autonomous and responsible. Under the control of their own bottom line, positive treatment of every decision about sex.

Q: Boys in China will exchange A-pieces between each other on mobile phones to see, how to do?

A: Teenagers are experiencing the development of second sexual characteristics, sexual psychology began to feel, lust, will be A film, A book and other pornographic media curious is natural.

How to answer depends on the parent-child sexual readiness to decide.

Parents may be worried about finding out that their children exchange A-movies with classmates: Will children watch A-movies addictive? Or worry about your child imitating the plot of A-movies and having sex? Or are you worried that your child is learning the wrong sex? Often, what parents worry about is the focus of discussion with their children.

The development stage of young people is a process of finding themselves, parents can only through sexual communication with the empowerment of young people, so that young people can express their voice, that is, show strength. If parents are concerned that their children have learned the wrong sex from A-movies, they can say, "A-movies provide a lot of sexual stimulation, and there is a big gap between real-life sex, at your age, I don't want you to receive excessive stimulation, I hope you don't want to see." But I can also understand that you will be curious, if you look confused, I would like you to discuss with me. Although I don't want you to see it, I'll adjust myself to discuss it with you, and I don't want you to grow up hurt by bad sexual knowledge. Keeping the parent-child communication pipeline open will always be your biggest backing for helping your child develop problems.

Q: Found that the eighth grade children's school bags have condoms, what attitude should be used to face? How do I cut in and talk to the kids?

A: As discussed earlier, whether or not to establish a channel of communication with your child about sex parenthood will determine your current state of conversation about sex. If you have not talked to children in the past sexual experience, found that children have condoms will be very serious, very shocking things, you will know that sex education can not wait, but at this time still need to slow down, first digest their emotions, worry and then go to talk to children, otherwise often parents too anxious will easily use prohibition, scolding way of communication, but cut off the channels of communication. Even if you usually talk to your child about sex, you may not be ready to face it, so parents will find that talking to your child about sex is most important to come back and settle your emotions first. Only to clarify and settle their own found that children have condom emotions, there is a way to use the "my message" way to communicate with children, when parents can use to respect their feelings, with children to express their feelings and ideas, the expression process without scolding, threats, you are demonstrating the above is very important ability to respect their feelings and sexual communication.

Parents can say, "I found condoms in your bag, really scared, all kinds of ideas in my head, but I decided to put my guess aside first, I want to hear what you say, I hope we can discuss you put condoms in the bag." "You have a condom in your bag, for whatever reason, and it means you're curious about sex, and we need to discuss sex and understanding together." We don't want children to get hurt by a lack of proper sexual knowledge, to help them build the abilities they need to build on sexual issues, and to learn to protect themselves, for example, one of the most important abilities in safer sex is to "use condoms properly" to prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.